New(ish) Father Blues

[deadgirlslikeme]

Victor Brown (formerly Van Dort) looks a bit harried when he enters the Nexus -- or, perhaps more accurately, like he really needs a vacation. And about a full day's worth of sleep. He heads to a nearby plush sofa (apparently the place noted the darker-than-usual circles under his eyes and felt sorry for him) and collapses on it with a sigh. "Oh dear. . .does anyone have any tips on how to handle tantrums?" he asks, looking around with a grimace. "Because Chester. . .well, he's started getting grabby, and if you take whatever he's grabbed away from him, he just -- how do babies cry so loud?"

Comments

[deadgirlslikeme]

It was a terrible tragedy, yes. Her aunt and uncle are very nice people, but -- we both wish I could have met her parents. Especially now, since. . . [he sighs] But there's nothing we can do about it.

Oh -- too bad. [he frowns curiously] I don't know of any insects that could survive in Antarctica. . .but then again, I'm not an expert in every species. I'm a hobby lepidopertist -- I study butterflies.

That would have been a very different movie, I think. Hopefully things will be easier for you here.

I'm not sure how I could, beyond just. . . [he makes an awkward slashing motion across his wrist] Which isn't really good for me either. [and then Palmer mentions the only way to get a baby Thing is for a Thing to assimilate a baby, and he goes pale] Yes. Yes, that -- that really is. ...You're the only one here, right?

[palmerthing]

Too often there's nothing you can do about things.

I'm not sure myself, but humans bring mice and roaches everywhere they go. I could've looked for those. *He's a bit disgusted by the thought, but food is food.* Better than starving at least. Starving or eating someone I know.

Definitely different, yeah. And I think it will be. Couldn't get much worse, right?

Yeah, not good for you at all. So I'm not gonna ask. *He nods at the desperate question.* As far as I'm aware. I'll tell you if I see anyone else from the station, man, I promise.

[deadgirlslikeme]

Far too often. You just -- have to learn to live with it.

Really? Everywhere? I mean -- I understand they'd follow the food, but -- even to Antarctica? [that's -- a bit gross, honestly] But yes, better than either one of those. H-how are you managing now?

I wouldn't think so. . .at least the anti-violence field should protect you against fire?

Thank you. [he rubs his head] Good. Good. I just -- I can see you're trying, but -- we couldn't be sure any other Thing would be too, could we?

[palmerthing]

Yeah.

If you can get mice on fucking sailing ships, you can probably find at least a couple in a research station. *His human personality agrees, but to the instincts there is no disgust. Only fascination with the life of a whole new world.* At the moment I'm okay, I can eat fruit if it's fresh enough and there are fish in the lake. Little lives I can absorb. It isn't nice, exactly, but I can kill the animals painlessly at least.

No fire is very good. I learned to hate those fucking flamethrowers very quickly.

I suppose not. If one of them made the other choice, the one to change everything around it as fast as possible and hope for the best, then we would definitely have a problem. I hope the anti-violence effect would prevent it, but if not . . .

[deadgirlslikeme]

Well, I'm originally from Victorian times, so mice on sailing ships makes more sense to me. But you've probably got a point. [he relaxes a little as Palmer confirms he has found stuff to eat/absorb] Oh, that's good. Would be terrible if you ended up here, away from all that chaos, only to find you couldn't get any food.

I think most people who aren't currently carrying a flamethrower don't like them. They seem incredibly dangerous. Too easy to hurt friend as well as foe.

[he winces] A major problem, yes. I would hope so too -- I mean, surely forcibly converting everything and everyone to Things counts as some sort of violence. And honestly, the existence of things like LOLs make me think the Nexus could actually fight back if necessary.

[palmerthing]

Victorian era, huh? Had anyone reached the South Pole yet?

Yeah, that would . . . that would not be good. Oh man. I do not want to think about what it would be like to be starving in the middle of so many people.

I didn't like them even when I was holding one. Felt like wearing a bomb on your back. All that fuel, you know what I mean?

It is forcible and all. *He looks curious--he doesn't need to eat normally, so there was less need for concern on that subject.* What are LOLs?

[deadgirlslikeme]

It was 1875 when I left, so no. It still amazes me that anyone can stay down there for any length of time.

[Victor shakes his head] I don't want to think about it either. I don't want to have nightmares tonight. [and he's not even the one who would be starving!]

Er -- not directly, but I get what you're saying. Doesn't make me inclined to ever pick one up! Not that I would anyway, given I can't see any reason why I'd ever need one. . .

[nods, then blushes] Oh, forgive me, I forgot for a moment you're new. . . LOLs are -- strange things that can happen here in the Nexus. I've personally run afoul of a camera that, when I used it to take a picture, deaged me temporarily into a child. Alice ran into it too, and got aged up about ten years. . .and my father was turned invisible. On the other hand, there were Easter eggs here for one Easter, and one I found gave me wings for a bit. [he smiles brightly at the memory] That was a lovely afternoon.

[palmerthing]

Oh, me too. Had to put on five layers of heavy clothing just to go outside, ugh. But my new nature handles the cold a lot better, which is nice. Freezing for me is what going to sleep is for you.

Don't worry too much. You and Marty have been nice to me, even if I did get to that point you would be the absolute last resort. *He shudders and smokes a bit more weed. There, that's better.* God, I cannot fucking believe I just said that. What is my life? But there you go.

Sadly wings don't scale up well, otherwise I could probably make my own. Might be able to do invisible, though, or close enough. What kind of wings were they?

[deadgirlslikeme]

It seems weird that we want to go to such inhospitable places so badly, just for the glory of it. . .though you lot were running experiments of some kind, weren't you? And that at least sounds like a plus. I've never liked the cold myself. Always been more of a spring sort of person.

[Victor raises an eyebrow] . . .Thanks? [more quietly, to himself] And I thought I was good at saying the wrong thing sometimes. . .

Fortunately the magic of the Nexus doesn't seem to care about "scaling up" or any of that. And butterfly wings, which, given my love of them, makes sense. They were really nice, and I kind of wish I'd been allowed to keep them. I've always wanted to fly, and that brief span of time where I could. . .

[palmerthing]

Somewhat better than the heat, though. There are only so many layers you can take off. I could probably take a few more off than you can, admittedly. *He grins at that particularly creepy thought.*

Hey, I'm not that selfless. Starving isn't a kind death, and if it's me or you I'm not gonna choose you. I'd hate it, but I'd still pick myself. Better to be honest about the fact.

Ooh, butterfly wings are gorgeous. I'd love them, but of course they wouldn't take my weight without magic.

[deadgirlslikeme]

[trying not to look too grossed out by the creepy images going through his head at that final bit] Yes, that's true. Again, grew up in Victorian England, so I wasn't used to much in the way of extreme heat. Burtonsville always seemed rather chilly, to be honest. . . Chicago, now, that can get hot. Makes me very glad air conditioning was invented!

. . .all right, that's fair enough. It's not like I wouldn't fight back if it came down to that either. [he's not sure how he WOULD, he's not in the habit of carrying a lighter or anything, but -- well, he's sure Palmer gets the idea]

[okay, THERE'S a genuine smile out of Victor] Aren't they? I've loved butterflies ever since I was a little boy. They're such wonderful and delicate little creatures.

[palmerthing]

Yeah, air conditioning is nice. Except when it's too cold already, of course.

I know you would. It's only natural. *He sighs.* I just fucking wish our natures didn't put us at such odds. I'm scared to even touch you in case I do damage.

They really are. Although I'm not sure I've ever actually seen one, or if it's just something I stole. Fucking existential crisis right there, man.

[deadgirlslikeme]

I've always liked a happy medium -- sunny day, few clouds, maybe low 70s. We didn't get many of those back in Burtonsville, but when we did, it was lovely.

I wish so too. You don't -- you're a lot friendlier than the movie made you out to be. Though, you only did anything truly monstrous when you were already revealed, so. . . [he shrugs] I'm sorry.

[he worries his lower lip] I -- I'm not really sure how to help with that, I'm afraid. It must be -- strange, thinking of yourself as both yourself and -- not.

[palmerthing]

It sounds lovely.

If someone's about to kill me I'm not going to make it easy for them, now am I? Of course not. I'm going to rip their damn face off. The rest of the time I'll be the kind of mostly-decent person the old me was, because that's the model for my personality.

It's very strange. It's like being able to take out your mind and look at it, take your thoughts apart and put them back together, disconnect your memories and treat them as irrelevant. Who am I? I don't know.

[deadgirlslikeme]

Yes -- and Chicago is definitely good for a lot more of them.

I don't think anyone would make it easy for someone to kill them. Well, unless they, uh, wanted to die, but. . . [shakes his head] You're just in a better position than most to defend yourself. But I'm glad you're following in your -- previous self's? -- footsteps there.

That sounds strange, yes. I mean, I-I've had some strange things happen to me -- including being possessed once -- but nothing like that.

[palmerthing]

So not really monstrous, just natural. And being able to shapeshift is a good weapon. *A small smirk.* I've practiced it a bit now. Not where people can see, I don't want to give anyone nightmares, but I thought I might as well. Feels weird, but not in a bad way.

I guess 'previous self' works. Man, trying to describe me is pretty hard that way. Old self and new self . . . confusing.

Possessed? What possessed you, and why?

[deadgirlslikeme]

Monstrously natural. Naturally monstrous? [he shrugs] And it really would be, I'm sure. The movie versions certainly seemed to have no trouble with it. And yes, if you've got the ability. . .I probably wouldn't be able to resist trying it out as well.

It really is. But there's not really any better words, are there?

[Oh dear, talk about confusing. . .] Um -- that's a b-bit of a story. [he fiddles with his fingers] To start with -- you're familiar with the "Alice In Wonderland" books?

[palmerthing]

'Naturally monstrous' works well enough. And you'd kinda think it would hurt, you know? The way the flesh rips and twists. But it feels more like stretching a muscle you haven't used much lately. Admittedly my sense of pain works differently from the human one anyway, so that's not really a huge surprise.

I guess not. I may have to invent some eventually, man, otherwise it'll drive me nuts.

I am, yes. Your Alice is from a version of them, right?

[deadgirlslikeme]

That's -- huh. I don't think I'd like a form of shapeshifting that involved my flesh literally ripping, even if it didn't hurt. I'd be disturbed every time I saw myself changing. But then again, I'm not a creature like you, so. . .

Well, you're entitled to. You ought to have words to describe yourself.

[he nods] Yes -- she lived through the first two adventures, then her house burnt down, and she spent a year in hospital. . .then ten years in an asylum. The shock and grief left her catatonic, you see. When she was about eighteen, she ended up back in Wonderland, fighting through it to regain her sanity. . .

But she first entered the Nexus FROM Wonderland. Like it was a physical place. And after she recovered and left the asylum, we discovered she could literally walk through mirrors to get back to Wonderland, and take people with her to boot. We're still not sure what exactly happened, but it seems that Wonderland is somehow both in her head and a real place now? [he shrugs] Considering every world is supposed to link up to this place sooner or later, I guess it's only to be expected, but still.

[palmerthing]

It can be a little disturbing, but it's also useful. Fun, too, honestly. But then it's part of what I'm made for.

Doesn't exactly sound like fun. But then I'm probably not sane myself, by human standards.

That's interesting. Must be disorienting too, though, to walk out of your own mind.

[deadgirlslikeme]

Well, if you're enjoying yourself, then I shouldn't complain. Just doesn't conjure up v-very nice mental images.

It wasn't -- Victorian asylums aren't nice places, even to children. [he shakes his head, disgusted] How she even survived in there, I'm not sure. . .I mean, obviously I'm glad she did, but some of the things she told me. . .

She took it pretty well in stride in the beginning, but she's confessed to me she wasn't entirely sure the Nexus was real at first, so. . . At any rate, we're used to it now. The trouble began, though, when she took me there for the first time. We had a lovely time, with her showing me around. . .but every so often, I'd suddenly just -- know something before she said it. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I kept quiet. T-that -- that proved to be a mistake.

[palmerthing]

I'm sure they're accurately unpleasant, too. I might actually give people nightmares if I'm not careful.

God, no. They were hellholes from all I've ever read about them.

*That doesn't sound good to Palmer, certainly. He has some idea of what it's like to just know stuff, and it's a bad sign.* What was telling you things?

[deadgirlslikeme]

[making faces for a moment] P-perhaps just keep transforming for fun something you do in private, then.

That's a good description of them, yes. I couldn't believe it when she confessed to me they'd once stuck her in essentially a modified electric chair. [he grits his teeth] It's a good thing we don't live in her world, otherwise. . . I don't know. I don't think I could just stand by and let it go on, though!

The King of Hearts, as it turned out. The Queen of Hearts is s-sort of Alice's counterpart in Wonderland, you see -- and since I was the boyfriend, I ended up being the counterpart to the King. Or he ended up being mine. . .b-but Wonderland had -- w-warped in response to Alice's grief after the death of her parents. The Queen had become a terrible tentacle monster that Alice had to kill in order to come out of her catatonic state. And the King. . .

Well, the problem with the King was more a problem with me. Namely -- I had a r-real self-esteem problem at the time.

[palmerthing]

Yeah, I will. I mean, you saw the movie right? Do you want to see that in real life?

Electroshock? Yeah. It's not exactly nice.

Well that certainly sounds like a mess. Although 'terrible tentacle monster' also sounds really familiar, ha.

Which showed itself as what?

[deadgirlslikeme]

Not the whole thing, but enough. And no, I would p-prefer not to. [honestly, the special effects in the movie were enough to give him nightmares. . .]

Essentially. I just -- I don't know what's wrong with the people of my home era sometimes. I really don't.

Heh, yes, I suppose it would. But it really was a mess -- Wonderland was better by the time Alice took me there, but it was still recovering. And the whole thing with the King didn't help matters. . .

By the King giving me nightmares about how I was w-worthless and how he deserved by body -- before forcibly taking over. Lucky for me, he didn't get to stay in control long -- he came to the Nexus in an attempt to learn how to shut me up while I was trapped in my own head, ran into a friend of mine, and together we were able to force him back behind some mental blocks.