New(ish) Father Blues

[deadgirlslikeme]

Victor Brown (formerly Van Dort) looks a bit harried when he enters the Nexus -- or, perhaps more accurately, like he really needs a vacation. And about a full day's worth of sleep. He heads to a nearby plush sofa (apparently the place noted the darker-than-usual circles under his eyes and felt sorry for him) and collapses on it with a sigh. "Oh dear. . .does anyone have any tips on how to handle tantrums?" he asks, looking around with a grimace. "Because Chester. . .well, he's started getting grabby, and if you take whatever he's grabbed away from him, he just -- how do babies cry so loud?"

Comments

[palmerthing]

It sounds lovely.

If someone's about to kill me I'm not going to make it easy for them, now am I? Of course not. I'm going to rip their damn face off. The rest of the time I'll be the kind of mostly-decent person the old me was, because that's the model for my personality.

It's very strange. It's like being able to take out your mind and look at it, take your thoughts apart and put them back together, disconnect your memories and treat them as irrelevant. Who am I? I don't know.

[deadgirlslikeme]

Yes -- and Chicago is definitely good for a lot more of them.

I don't think anyone would make it easy for someone to kill them. Well, unless they, uh, wanted to die, but. . . [shakes his head] You're just in a better position than most to defend yourself. But I'm glad you're following in your -- previous self's? -- footsteps there.

That sounds strange, yes. I mean, I-I've had some strange things happen to me -- including being possessed once -- but nothing like that.

[palmerthing]

So not really monstrous, just natural. And being able to shapeshift is a good weapon. *A small smirk.* I've practiced it a bit now. Not where people can see, I don't want to give anyone nightmares, but I thought I might as well. Feels weird, but not in a bad way.

I guess 'previous self' works. Man, trying to describe me is pretty hard that way. Old self and new self . . . confusing.

Possessed? What possessed you, and why?

[deadgirlslikeme]

Monstrously natural. Naturally monstrous? [he shrugs] And it really would be, I'm sure. The movie versions certainly seemed to have no trouble with it. And yes, if you've got the ability. . .I probably wouldn't be able to resist trying it out as well.

It really is. But there's not really any better words, are there?

[Oh dear, talk about confusing. . .] Um -- that's a b-bit of a story. [he fiddles with his fingers] To start with -- you're familiar with the "Alice In Wonderland" books?

[palmerthing]

'Naturally monstrous' works well enough. And you'd kinda think it would hurt, you know? The way the flesh rips and twists. But it feels more like stretching a muscle you haven't used much lately. Admittedly my sense of pain works differently from the human one anyway, so that's not really a huge surprise.

I guess not. I may have to invent some eventually, man, otherwise it'll drive me nuts.

I am, yes. Your Alice is from a version of them, right?

[deadgirlslikeme]

That's -- huh. I don't think I'd like a form of shapeshifting that involved my flesh literally ripping, even if it didn't hurt. I'd be disturbed every time I saw myself changing. But then again, I'm not a creature like you, so. . .

Well, you're entitled to. You ought to have words to describe yourself.

[he nods] Yes -- she lived through the first two adventures, then her house burnt down, and she spent a year in hospital. . .then ten years in an asylum. The shock and grief left her catatonic, you see. When she was about eighteen, she ended up back in Wonderland, fighting through it to regain her sanity. . .

But she first entered the Nexus FROM Wonderland. Like it was a physical place. And after she recovered and left the asylum, we discovered she could literally walk through mirrors to get back to Wonderland, and take people with her to boot. We're still not sure what exactly happened, but it seems that Wonderland is somehow both in her head and a real place now? [he shrugs] Considering every world is supposed to link up to this place sooner or later, I guess it's only to be expected, but still.

[palmerthing]

It can be a little disturbing, but it's also useful. Fun, too, honestly. But then it's part of what I'm made for.

Doesn't exactly sound like fun. But then I'm probably not sane myself, by human standards.

That's interesting. Must be disorienting too, though, to walk out of your own mind.

[deadgirlslikeme]

Well, if you're enjoying yourself, then I shouldn't complain. Just doesn't conjure up v-very nice mental images.

It wasn't -- Victorian asylums aren't nice places, even to children. [he shakes his head, disgusted] How she even survived in there, I'm not sure. . .I mean, obviously I'm glad she did, but some of the things she told me. . .

She took it pretty well in stride in the beginning, but she's confessed to me she wasn't entirely sure the Nexus was real at first, so. . . At any rate, we're used to it now. The trouble began, though, when she took me there for the first time. We had a lovely time, with her showing me around. . .but every so often, I'd suddenly just -- know something before she said it. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I kept quiet. T-that -- that proved to be a mistake.

[palmerthing]

I'm sure they're accurately unpleasant, too. I might actually give people nightmares if I'm not careful.

God, no. They were hellholes from all I've ever read about them.

*That doesn't sound good to Palmer, certainly. He has some idea of what it's like to just know stuff, and it's a bad sign.* What was telling you things?

[deadgirlslikeme]

[making faces for a moment] P-perhaps just keep transforming for fun something you do in private, then.

That's a good description of them, yes. I couldn't believe it when she confessed to me they'd once stuck her in essentially a modified electric chair. [he grits his teeth] It's a good thing we don't live in her world, otherwise. . . I don't know. I don't think I could just stand by and let it go on, though!

The King of Hearts, as it turned out. The Queen of Hearts is s-sort of Alice's counterpart in Wonderland, you see -- and since I was the boyfriend, I ended up being the counterpart to the King. Or he ended up being mine. . .b-but Wonderland had -- w-warped in response to Alice's grief after the death of her parents. The Queen had become a terrible tentacle monster that Alice had to kill in order to come out of her catatonic state. And the King. . .

Well, the problem with the King was more a problem with me. Namely -- I had a r-real self-esteem problem at the time.

[palmerthing]

Yeah, I will. I mean, you saw the movie right? Do you want to see that in real life?

Electroshock? Yeah. It's not exactly nice.

Well that certainly sounds like a mess. Although 'terrible tentacle monster' also sounds really familiar, ha.

Which showed itself as what?

[deadgirlslikeme]

Not the whole thing, but enough. And no, I would p-prefer not to. [honestly, the special effects in the movie were enough to give him nightmares. . .]

Essentially. I just -- I don't know what's wrong with the people of my home era sometimes. I really don't.

Heh, yes, I suppose it would. But it really was a mess -- Wonderland was better by the time Alice took me there, but it was still recovering. And the whole thing with the King didn't help matters. . .

By the King giving me nightmares about how I was w-worthless and how he deserved by body -- before forcibly taking over. Lucky for me, he didn't get to stay in control long -- he came to the Nexus in an attempt to learn how to shut me up while I was trapped in my own head, ran into a friend of mine, and together we were able to force him back behind some mental blocks.

[palmerthing]

My point exactly.

Every era is full of stupid flaws, I'm sure.

Is he still behind them, or did you manage to get rid of him entirely?

[deadgirlslikeme]

Yes, but -- the Victorian Era seems to be full of a lot of particularly bad ones, looking back on it now. Or maybe I'm just biased -- I didn't have a happy life, there.

He's gone now, though it took some doing. And quite a lot of bumps along the road. [he plays with his tie] Alice actually broke up with me for a bit, out of guilt -- thinking it was h-her fault he was in my head. It hurt terribly at the time, but it at least encouraged me to stand up to him, and we came to a temporary accord once we realized my own negative opinion of myself was infecting him. Then, after Alice and I got back together, we went back to Wonderland and managed to shunt him off into a body of his own.

[palmerthing]

I mean, an unhappy life certainly wouldn't help your opinion of it. But then I never really liked my day either, man. *A pause as he adjusts his thoughts a bit.* No, no, he didn't like his day. I didn't exactly exist during the Vietnam War. I think. Fuck, this is way too confusing.

Things didn't end too badly, then. And now you're married, you got a kid, seems like a pretty good life.

[deadgirlslikeme]

It certainly doesn't. . .and in a sense, you sort of did? Though I don't imagine you were doing anything during it. Well, the Thing part wasn't, obviously Palmer -- you're right, this is confusing.

No, fortunately not. As far as I can tell, the King's happily off in Wonderland now with his Queen -- Alice ended up bringing her back to keep each other out of trouble. [he smiles] And yes, it really is. Alice is -- she's been worth every hardship. And Chester. . .well, when he's not having meltdowns, it's nice to be a father.

[palmerthing]

The original Thing was still frozen and Palmer was living his life. My life. Whatever. But that's sort of like saying that you existed when your parents were kids, isn't it?

I'm sure it's wonderful to be a father, but I'll never know. I would almost certainly kill someone if I so much as kissed them, and being around a child? Man oh man oh fucking man. I ain't exactly planning on that. I don't want to create a childthing.

[deadgirlslikeme]

. . .That takes on a different connotation when your cousin is sort-of from a time travel movie about needing to get his parents back together. [smile] But yes, I see what you mean.

[his expression softens and saddens as Palmer goes on] Yes, that wouldn't be -- good. I'm sorry, though. It sounds like you're living a very lonely existence.

[palmerthing]

Yeah, it does. Time travel is a mess like that.

It's gonna be seriously lonely for what may be a very long time.

[deadgirlslikeme]

It really is, from what I saw of the movies. Then again, Dad and Marty didn't really have any better of a time in their world. . .

[Victor nods -- then his expression turns thoughtful] I -- I might have a way for us to get a little closer. It's just -- it's kind of strange, and we'll probably have to take a few precautions. . .and I still technically wouldn't be able to touch you, just -- it would be in a different way?

[palmerthing]

Yeah, traditional faeries aren't the nicest.

Better precautions than nothing.

[deadgirlslikeme]

Oh, Marty told you a bit, then. . .they really aren't. I still can't believe they survived some of what was done to them. . .

Yes, of course. [he fiddles with his fingers] You see, I -- how do I explain? W-when I was first taken way from my home universe, I was pulled through something called "The Rift." It's this s-strange gap between worlds, and whoever passes through it ends up -- changed. And I got this s-strange ability where -- um -- well, I can leave my body and w-wander around as a ghost, essentially.

[palmerthing]

*He raises an eyebrow, then smiles.* I could touch a ghost. Well, not touch exactly. But close.

Thank you.

[deadgirlslikeme]

Heh, yes, that's exactly what I thought. So yes, I'd be happy to do that. Just -- before I do. . .would having my body just lying here be -- b-bad? I don't want to cause you any undue stress. . .or temptation.

[palmerthing]

I think I'd be too busy talking to you. I'll tell you if it starts to be too much.