reality_crossroads | Going Swimmingly

Going Swimmingly

*Palmer has found a lake today and is giving it an uncertain kind of look. Not only is such a large outdoor feature a bit unexpected when there appears to be nothing in particular dividing it from the couches and chairs in the main area of the nexus, not only would he probably start turning into something aquatic on automatic as soon as he tried swimming, but he's fairly sure that he saw Gollum from The Lord of the Rings swimming in there and that's just too much weirdness for him. Not that he has any room to talk, but he's not up for that meeting yet. So he sits on the beach and watches the waves. Hopefully there won't be any merfolk or cartoon fish, one fantasy character at a time is bad enough.*

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Yeah--but it's not my first thought, you know? I have to remember it, instead of it seeming blatantly obvious.

Right. . .humans must be weird from your perspective. Actually, all animals with a proper juvenile stage where they need a parent to care for them must be weird.

Yeah, it seems so inefficient. Dangerous, too.

Unfortunately I am not privy to the whims of evolution. Though I think at its base it's a species putting more effort into fewer offspring that live longer? Sort of the opposite of how fish and frogs and whatnot do it -- leaving a bunch of eggs to make a ton of fish, most of whom don't survive.

I suppose I'm more on the fish side of things, then. Less easy to kill, but very much the 'every man for himself' approach.

Mmmm. . . [feeds Chester a bit more ice cream] Do you ever feel sad if another Thing dies, or is it just a "well, better not let that happen to me" situation?

I don't I would care as much as if we were humans? But then I don't think I've really liked another Thing either, we were allies by desperate necessity at best. I mean, Norris wasn't terrible but he was . . . kind of in the background all the time. Made him a smart choice, but not really someone worth getting excited over, and he was the only one I really knew.

That -- hmmm. I don't know if I was expecting Things to like each other, but I was expecting you to not just be "allies by desperate necessity." What would you say a Thing's general feeling toward another Thing is?

Our general feeling? Anywhere from indifference to vague irritation, with occasional mild gratitude if one happened to do something that helped the other. Basically imagine intelligent crocodiles. Doesn't help that we're hive minds, either, so identity gets tricky. Hard to really care about someone who might turn into three people tomorrow.

But obviously you have some form of identity, otherwise every other Thing would just be an extension of yourself. You wouldn't think of them as separate beings at all. Certainly not something to -- no, wait, that's a lie. I get irritated with bits of me all the time.

Sure, but it's an identity that could change if I'm not careful. The majority of Things aren't careful. There are plenty of Things who think of themselves as 'we,' with identities so alien to the human concept that understanding each other would be impossible.

*Palmer laughs.* I could probably get into a real argument with myself if I just . . . unfocused a little, I guess? Not really easy to explain in English. Dissociated! Yeah, 'dissociated''s a good word.

I suppose it's not really in your nature to be careful about that sort of thing. Given you're a sapient virus-being whose biological directive is "infect everything." It just sounds weirdly like you could get a situation with Things competing with each other to take over the most creatures. Which is not something you expect from anything with a hive mind.

[she chuckles, taking some ice cream for herself] Yeah, that does sound right. 'Disassociated' probably describes me yelling at Wonderland while I was in care very well too.

But the entire species isn't a hive mind. We're not generally psychic. So yeah, trying to beat out other Things to the interesting stuff isn't too uncommon.

Wait, so -- how far does the "hive mind" stretch? How many Things will think of themselves at the same -- "group," I suppose?

Not as far as you might think--maybe even less than the average human. We're one mind with the other cells that make a body, naturally, but even that can scatter in a way that humans can't. If we're cut up or blown up then it depends entirely on the decisions of the pieces how much forms up again, and if the individual cells are in too much danger they'll just up and leave.

I'm not part of a hive mind, I am the hive mind. Any of my cells could survive on its own for far longer than yours could. *He winces. Thinking about what it would take for him to willingly dissolve is unpleasant.* The dog was the parent-colony to mine, but we don't share a mind any more than you do with your parents. We'd have to combine physically to read each others' thoughts.

It's part of why the situation back home was just as unpleasant for us as for anyone else--there were at least two infection vectors involved, so there was no way for us to know who to trust either. Norris an me knew each other because we were both from the dog's line, but then Mac went and dragged in a burned Thing as well.

Ooooh, I see. So what we would see as individual Things are basically a bunch of Things working in concert. [furrows brow] I swear my father told me about a sort of jellyfish that functioned sort of like that once. Like, all the different parts -- the digestive system, the tentacles, and so on -- were all technically separate creatures, but they were all specialized for one job and thus lived together as one bigger thing. Obviously your cells can just do their own thing as necessary, but -- well, it helps ME make sense of it.

And that makes more sense. So not only were you against the humans, you were also against Things from different "parents," and -- it was all just very stressful.

Yeah. That's surprisingly common in the greater universe, but Earth doesn't have much except some weird slimes and jellies.

Yeah. We'd have probably all worked against the humans and then either fought each other or stayed joined up so we could take over the world--assuming we chose to do that, which is in no way certain. I didn't especially care about what happened to the world as long as I survived, after all.

Is that so? Huh -- who knew that Earth would be the odd one out in that respect?

I see. . .and yes, that is obvious, considering you happily abandoned that world to ensure your own survival.

Life is so different from one place to another that you can barely call anything odd, to be fair.

Ha! Quite.

True, but you did just say that such composite creatures are more common in the wider universe, so. . .wonder why?

And it seems to be working out well for you!

I mean, in a way it's common on Earth too. There's two sets on DNA in every cell, some creature that's symbiotic with pretty much every other creature to the point that it's just part of the cell. I looked in some biology books and I think it's called mitochondria? But that doesn't really seem the same, they can't separate at all.

It is! Hopefully my world can deal with me disappearing, at least in a 'reality doesn't start throwing out person-not-found-errors' kind of way, but other than that I'm not concerned.

That -- I could not tell you. The science people in my life tend to be physicists and engineers first and foremost. I'll have to look it up later. . .but I'll take your word on it for now. How curious that we would end up that way. . .

Well, Victor's reality hasn't collapsed from lack of him so far. . .though admittedly, he did take a few steps to fake his death. I don't know if that has any effect on things.

It's weird to be able to just tell this kind of thing.

Well that's good to hear. I was a bit worried. *He frowns.* Maybe I could send part of myself back to deal with it? The main problem would be actually making part of me go back willingly.

I imagine it is! Though it probably makes you a very good biologist.

Perhaps, though -- yes, making that part want to go would be the tricky bit. Especially since it would be staring potential actual death in the face. I'd like to think universes are generally hardy enough to survive the absence of a single person.

Yeah, I bet it would. *A grin.* Also really good at coming up with realistic monsters for horror movies, but how often is that needed?

Yeah, I'd like to think so too. Otherwise that's gonna be a damn hassle.

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