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[lastest_ringbearer]

 The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet! The rocks and stones are like old bones, all bare of meat! *Here he pauses: the possible options he's come up with, over the years, for continuing require that he either rhyme 'feet' with itself or use the word 'fish' for two lines in a row. Despite his (admittedly small) ambitions Smeagol is not an especially good poet, nor does he have a wide range of topics to choose from.

*Thus he's going with his usual non-solution to problems he can't deal with, which is to splash at the water while hissing and muttering to himself. Happily he's discovered swim trunks; his old clothes were a nightmare and have been relegated to the rag pile.*

Comments

[lastest_ringbearer]

Hard to imagine, that is.

[museicalmarty]

Yeah, if you've never met one of them. . .their world is WEIRD. You basically have to bargain with EVERYTHING before it'll do stuff for you. So water would only make you wet if you and it both agreed it would.

[lastest_ringbearer]

We don't think we'd like that much. *He thinks a moment.* No, Gollum might. Gollum likes word games. But Smeagol wouldn't be able to trussst anything for certain.

[museicalmarty]

Smeagol's got the right idea. That's the worst thing about Arcadia -- you CAN'T trust anything for certain. You THINK you know the rules, but the -- creature who lives there? Who runs the place? They can change them whenever they like. And they might. Just on a whim. Just to see how it'll affect you. Just to see you suffer. [wooof, he sounds pissed off. Seems like this conversation has hit upon the old buried wells of hatred he has for Fae]

[lastest_ringbearer]

Idle curiosity can be far worssse than hatred. Hatred at leassst means you matter.

[museicalmarty]

Yeah, I know. I'm not sure my Keeper ever really got angry at me or anything. He just -- got bored occasionally and thought it was funny to do shit to my head. I think that's Fae in a nutshell, honestly -- idle curiosity that doesn't care about anyone else.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Gollum can be like that. Sssometimes goblin-children fell down to the pool, they did. Not as often as the grown ones, no, but we were the boogeyman occasionally.

[museicalmarty]

[Marty winces] I see. . .what was it like from the other end? Being the scary one?

[lastest_ringbearer]

Much less unpleasssant, my love. We were strong and nimble, yesss, with long fingers to snatch and six sharp teeth to bite.

[museicalmarty]

Yeah -- must have terrified those goblin kids.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Yesss. The grown ones never came looking for them, either--nasssty creatures, goblinses.

The goblin leader kept ordering them to come down and fisssh, too. Didn't care that half the time nothing would return.

[museicalmarty]

Seriously? Wow, yeah, goblins sound like total assholes, at least to each other. How the hell do you just -- not care about your own kids?! Or any of your own people, come to think of it?

[lastest_ringbearer]

They are missserable things, made to be ssso. We was captive of elfses, we heard their ssstories, and they say that orcses, goblinses, they were made in the long-ago days when Sssauron was but apprentice to a massster yet more terrible. Orc-folk hate all things, and even their creator was maker only of their misssery. What they were before their corruption none can sssay.

[museicalmarty]

[Marty blinks] Hang on -- Sauron wasn't always the biggest threat to Middle-Earth? Oh yeesh, I don't know if I like the idea of somebody worse than him being around. . .but yeah, that -- that sucks. Imagine knowing your whole race was made just to be as miserable and hateful as possible. . .

[lastest_ringbearer]

We don't like that thought, no. Either thought. Nasssty it is. *His long fingers twitch a bit, as if he wants to attack the very idea.* We've been clossse enough at timeses. We'd forget what we once was sssometimeses.

[museicalmarty]

Yeah, really nasty. And depressing. [he winces a little at Smeagol's confession] That's -- I really am sorry for you. You've been through more than anybody should ever endure. But I'm glad you didn't completely tip over the edge.

[lastest_ringbearer]

We came clossse. Gollum was all there wasss at the end, and Smeagol barely made it back once we got here. We'd have been empty then, with the ssshock of the Precious being gone.

[museicalmarty]

[aaand that gets another, bigger wince] Yikes. . .that would have been -- awful. Really glad you didn't tip over the edge then.

[lastest_ringbearer]

We are mossst glad--no. Smeagol, Smeagol isss glad. Gollum's ssstill upssset about the Precious, yes he isss. *He rubs at his hand, at the melted gold that covers it.* For the best, Smeagol be thinking. Gollum's not nice. Isss! Isn't! Nasty and tricksy and falssse is Gollum. The part of Smeagol that warped is Gollum! Kept usss alive in dark places for long yearses. Was what trapped usss to begin with. Be dead without your Gollum. Wouldn't exist without your Smeagol.

*For a moment he goes crosseyed trying to glare at himself, before settling himself for glaring at the remnants of the One. Then he sighs.* Smeagol's time now unless Gollum is needed. If people try to hurt usss we bite and claw and ssstrangle, yesss. But only then.

[museicalmarty]

[Marty lets him have his little argument with himself -- he doesn't think getting involved would do anyone any good. Smeagol's declaration of biting and clawing and strangling anyone who tries to hurt him is -- somewhat unnerving, but he supposes he can't blame him] That -- sounds for the best, yeah. He's the one who's best at that sort of thing.

[lastest_ringbearer]

*Smeagol nods agreeably once he's done with his weird argument.* Gollum's the fighter, ssso he isss.

Now then . . . what were we talking about again?

[museicalmarty]

Had to be, it sounds like.

A bunch of stuff -- went from music to Fae to the evil in your world. Maybe we can go back to that first one? [Marty would much rather do another guitar song than think about his Keeper or Sauron]

Good place to end, I think? I've got a brand new guy stuck in my head, don't want to overwhelm you

[lastest_ringbearer]

Musssic, yes. Smeagol will lisssten to music.

If you like! It does feel like they've said all they're gonna say for the moment

[museicalmarty]

Heh, all right, let me try. . . [he fiddles with the guitar for a moment, then does an instrumental version of Foreigner's 'I Want To Know What Love Is.' He does like a classic 80s power ballad]