reality_crossroads | (no subject)

Marty chuckles softly at Stephie and Jokester's exchange, taking a few licks of his cone. "Not gonna hurt him either, is it?" That's part joke, part genuine question -- not like he knows.

And then Stephie turns her attention to him again, and -- someone has obviously taken tips from how to be spooky from her alien weapon dog. Marty leans backward just a little from the smile on instinct. "Ookay. . .sorry, didn't realize." He shakes his head. "Hopefully we're not gonna see any real threats in an ice cream shop."

"I thought it was just chocolate that wasn't safe for dogs, " Jokester says, poking at his sherbet with a look like he's trying to think if he's heard anything else.

"None of us are going to intentionally poison the crazy space-robo-dog-monster, "Duela quips, knowing that half of her dad's behavior is still usually an act - whatever seems funny at the time.

Stephie just snorts. "No way the Void Hound is going to get damaged by some bit of milk and sugar. It took a Green Lantern yanking the A.I. out of his old space weapon body and trapping him in a ring for ages to stop him the last time. And he broke out of that once he figured out how to make himself a new body."

Erdammeru just continues to stare at the desert bowls as if waiting for them to attack...

After a moment, Stephie sighs. "He wants a bowl, too."

"Well, chocolate's the obvious one -- I think grapes aren't great for them either," Marty says, frowning thoughtfully. "I'd have to ask Doc -- he's the one who's owned dogs. He'd know better." He glances at Erdammeru. "Not that any of that probably applies to you. . ."

". . .Oookay then." Marty's about to add to Erdammeru that human food probably doesn't even register on his radar when Stephie reveals why the Void Hound has been staring at the bowls so intently -- and then he has to hide a laugh. Maybe Erdammeru is a little more like a dog than he thought. "Well, if it ain't gonna hurt him. . .whatcha want?" he asks the Hound.

Jokester looks at his Lime-Orange-Lemon sherbet mess for a moment. "Good thing I didn't get grape, too. Whoops." Because it had been a close thing. He just decided to go all-citrus instead.

There's a head tilt from Erdammeru, and then Stephie seems to be having a conversation of which only one side can be heard by everyone else. "No, I don't think they'd have Green Lantern flavor," she says, and scritches one of the Void Hound's ears. The smile on her face is the only possible hint that that might be a joke. Maybe. "... iron filings?" Apparently the Void Hound's taste preferences are not human normal, for all that he liked the sherbet enough to want some.

Duela shrugs. "In this place, it wouldn't hurt to ask at the counter. That big wasp guy that was here before looked like some kind of robot."

"Pretty sure it's only bad for Earth dogs," Marty assures him. "I'd say you're in the clear."

"Really got it in for Green Lantern, huh?" Then again, he supposes being ripped out of your old body and imprisoned for a while would do that. . . "And yeah, this is the Nexus. Usually they've got just about anything for anybody. I know for a fact the mall food court sells oil and stuff for the mechanical set. Might as well give it a shot, right?"

Erdammeru's response to the question is a wide glowy grin that would do the Cheshire Cat proud - or perhaps the Smiledog.jpg creepypasta.

"We'll be right back," Stephie says, excusing herself to head back to the counter. The Void Hound pads after her, completely silent despite its size.

Duela finishes off a spoon of her ice cream before something sinks in, and she says, "Y'ḱnow, I don't think anyone's ever said what the Void Hound eats..."

"Ice cream, apparently," Jokester quips back.

Cripes, this thing seems to specialize in unnerving people. Marty goes back to eating his ice cream cone for a bit to avoid looking at that grin. Kinda wish I had Alice with me -- she'd handle this a lot better, I bet.

"I think that thing eats whatever the hell it wants to eat," he says in response to Duela's question. "You gonna tell it otherwise?"

"Should I be concerned that that thing has a creepier grin than me?" Jokester asks.

"I dunno, the other way around didn't really work out good for anyone," is Duela's answer.

And they're back, with another bowl of ice cream that's glowing a sunny yellow. Apparently literally, as Stephie says, "They have solar-power flavor ice cream, or some kind of 'solar based energon' flavor, anyway."

Erdammeru gives it a lick with a tongue that looks like it should have been in Marvel Comics' Venom's mouth, and wags his tail.

"He says it tastes like sunbeams," Stephie translates, before trying to eat any bits of her ice cream in immediate danger of melting due to being left unattended.

"Plus it's hard to look creepier than a morphing space weapon the size of a wolf," Marty adds. "Kind of a natural advantage there."

He glances in the bowl at the glowing ice cream as Stephie and Void Hound return. "Energon? Isn't that from Transformers?" He may have been taken by the Fae before the show started up, but he's been catching up on the 80s stuff he missed -- plus he's met a few of that race thanks to the Nexus. "Explains why a robot would come here, anyway. . ." He watches Erdammeru slurp it up with his long tongue. Dog looks slightly less creepy happy, anyway. Slightly.

"Nice," he says, going back to his own ice cream. "This stuff's pretty good too. I'm definitely going to have to get the rest of the family to come here."

Duela nods. "Good idea. I've literally told everyone in the world about this place, so far. Well, everyone in our world. Auntie Selina should really bring some of her cats and see if they have kitty-safe tuna flavor or something. Or mouse."

Stephie snorts and almost chokes on her bite of ice cream at the thought of mouse flavored ice cream - and that this place would probably have it.

Erdammeru pauses to sniff and make sure she's ok before going back to his own bowl.

Marty does much the same as Stephie in response to Duela's comment, though in his case it leads to him accidentally plowing his nose into his ice cream cone. Fortunately he doesn't inhale any, but it's still not exactly a pleasant experience. "Ack! Jeez. . ." He gets up and grabs a napkin from one of the provided containers, wiping off his face. "Yeah, bet they do -- I mean, if they have what is basically sunlight flavor. . ."

"Y'know, I always wondered why there wasn't any mouse-flavored cat food," Jokester comments.

"Two big reasons," Stephie replies. "One is that cat food is actually marketed to humans, and too many people would rather buy their cat 'smoked turkey in cheese sauce', never mind lactose intolerance in adult cats, than 'pureed field mouse'. The second, at least in the US, was because FDA regulations held pet food to most of the same requirements as human food. Which is good for safety, but runs into processed rodents not being an approved food source and there being no proper FDA inspection process for them." She may take after the Dent side of the family more, but she still likes storing away weird facts when she hears them. Although knowing this one does get her curious looks from a pair of clowns, and she has to add, "I asked Selina."

"So, we could totally have rodent-flavor cat food now?" Duela ponders.

Stephie snerks. "Why did you think I asked Selina? She was making recipes."

"Well, she's not short on taste-testers," Jokester says.

Duela nods. "And she ran a pet store for a long time in that one timeline where... um, I think it was the one Helena was born in, before they messed her past up and made her a mafia kid somehow. And maybe a couple other ones. The older ones..." Before the red skies and the shadow demons and things she still doesn't like to think of, so moving past that quickly.

"Lactose -- hang on, that's when you can't have milk, isn't it? Cats can't have milk?" Color Marty surprised (as well as slightly blue around the lips from his ice cream) -- he'd always figured the "milk in a saucer" thing was a stereotype for a reason. "Sheesh. . .but yeah, I'll admit, I dunno if I'd want to buy 'pureed mouse' if I had a cat. Even if I figured the cat would like it." He shakes his head. "You'd think they'd have a separate agency just for pet food, if the point is to make sure it's safe. I mean, we all know animals like eating stuff humans wouldn't--" He stops, thinks. "Okay, no -- back on Halloween, I got reminded some humans will eat bugs. But still -- most people I know wouldn't eat a mouse."

Marty chuckles at the idea of Catwoman in the kitchen, preparing mousey dishes for her feline friends. "Yeah. . .and a pet store? Sounds her, though I can't see her selling anything but stuff for cats. How does she feel about dogs, anyway?"

"Oh, they still like milk, and a little bit is ok as a treat, but it can give them gas and tummyaches and make them have runny messes outside of the litterboxes if they have more than just a spoonful or so," Duela says. She'd helped feed and play with Auntie Selina's cats before. "And she's ok with dogs as long as they don't chase her cats."

"The whole cats versus dogs thing is about as accurate as cats with a bowl of milk," Stephie says. "Yeah, some dogs will chase cats... but most of them won't actually hurt anything they think of as part of their pack, even if it is a cat."

"Ew," Marty says, wrinkling his nose. "Good enough reason for me to avoid the cheesy cat food if we ever end up with a cat." Not that he currently thinks they will, but -- hey. Could happen.

"Guess it's like everything else -- depends on the dog and the cat." Marty glances at Erdammeru. "Don't suppose you have any strong opinions on cats unless they're trying to claw her up," he says, jerking his head toward Stephie.

The void hound makes a very human-like paw-wiggle at that. It depended on the cat. Threats were to be dealt with. The ones on the island weren't to be chased, no matter how potentially entertaining they looked... and they were small and warm and purry, which made them... entertaining in other ways.

"I caught him disguising himself as a cat bed once to get a closer look at some of Selina's cats. but he won't hurt any of them," Stephie says.

Marty does his best to bite back a grin, but it's hard. "Oh. Okay then." Almost sounds like the Void Hound's got a soft spot for cats.

"They amuse him, and they're not threats," Stephie says. "But they're not pack because they're Selina's. I think that makes them something like toys he has to play careful with."

"I gotcha. Well, better that he knows to be careful than not." Marty has a few more licks of ice cream, catching some drips around the edge of the cone. "How are you liking the new reality you guys have got so far?"

"A whole damned lot more than the old one," Stephie says, "And that's even with the lack of public utilities, infrastructure, internet, or any major signs of civilization unless I come here. Though I'm still not sure how much I trust all of this."

"I think people who aren't still waiting for the other shoe to drop are a minority right now," Jokester says. "In more than one way, since they're usually under the age of ten."

"And I'm sure we'll have TV back eventually," Duela consoles. "Or at least public movie theaters, if Mr, Karlo has anything to say about it."

"Can't blame you -- if I'd been through some of the shit you guys have, I'd be constantly waiting for the rug to be yanked out from under me," Marty admits, starting in on the actual cone. After a moment's chewing, he adds, "The Nexus is good for at least getting out and talking with people. And yeah, I don't think you guys will be lacking for long, at least in the tech department. Too many scientists running around." He doesn't know how good Mr. Freeze would be with the internet, but designing good refrigerators? Those are important too.

"Yeah, but it could still take a few years," Stephie says. "Right now, we're just kind of squatting in this really weird old castle, and the adults are all talking about setting up some kind of school for us." She rolls her eyes at that. School as she remembered it was boring. "We've got generators and stuff for electric, but that's about it. And rebuilding things from scratch gets hard - You can't go raid a Radio Shack for parts when there isn't one. Erdammeru keeps having to make pieces for things, like they think he's some kind of 3d printer with paws."

"Hey,"Jokester says, trying to look serious, "If you don't have school, you have nowhere to play hooky from. .... Wait, that was probably bad advice."

Duela just laughs, then manages to add, "I think it'll get easier when we have more people who know how to do all the little things nobody thinks of until nobody's doing it. Well, and it'll get a little harder too, because the only ones who know how to grow food are Aunt Pammy and her kids, and they don't do animals..."

"Lobster's easy to catch on the beach," Stephie comments, "but I think I'm going to be sick of it by the time this is over... and by 'over' I mean whenever we have grocery stores again. The Nexus is good at filling in holes like that, but no one wants to use it as too much of a crutch."

"I can think of a bunch of kids, eight-year-old me included, who'd think that squatting in a weird old castle sounds like living the dream," Marty responds, smirking. "Though yeah, my tune would have changed too once the adults started talking about school. . .and I bet it's rough. I wouldn't know where to start if I had to build my own -- well, everything, I guess. The pocket reality I live in right now is kinda weird, but I guess I should just be grateful it comes with buildings and groceries and all that." He glances at Erdammeru. "So you've been keeping them supplied, huh?"

"Yeaaaah, that sounds like a good place to start -- the food here's safer than it once was, but you never know when you might get hit with a LOL," Marty says, wrinkling his nose. "I don't remember farming being big in Gotham -- unless you were Poison Ivy, like you said -- but there had to be some people making the food." He just wishes that the first people who came to mind on that front weren't the Kents. He's not sure how anybody here feels about the Big Blue Farmboy.

Stephie snerks. "Yeah, it's great until you realize just what old castles were like. They weren't exactly designed for modern conveniences. Though at least we're on an island and we shouldn't have to put up with a Gotham winter in the place." And something about that has her curious. "So, the food in the grocery stores just comes back and stays fresh without anyone doing any of the work? Lucky... I would definitely be raiding the nearest mall if there were empty self-replenishing stores."

Duela nods. "Yeah, Gotham wasn't really big on green places, unless they were painted that color. There was pretty much just the park, and everyone knew that was Aunt Pammy's turf."

"The big problem is," the Jokester points out, "not a lot of 'average simple peasant farmers' make it into comic book stories - with a few exceptions related to a guy I know who's notorious for wearing his underoos on the outside of his tights. Among other things." Yeah, Superman crossed his mind, too. "Mad geniuses we'll have plenty of. People who do all the little everyday things everyone takes for granted? Just not interesting enough to get published."

"Yeaaah, good point -- bet it's drafty as hell," Marty admits, making a face. "And basically -- where my folks and I are living now mirrors a bigger reality, so all the stuff changes from day to day to reflect what happened in the other world. The only thing it didn't bring over was the people -- we're the only ones in there. Got no clue why, but it works for us." His expression goes thoughtful. "So, you know, if you guys need extra supplies -- it's just the five of us, we're never gonna use it all."

"Right, and nobody wanted to get in her way," he nods back.

He snorts. "Yeah, what is with that red bit that looks like underwear? I know it's a classic costume, but come on." He sobers up as Jokester continues. "But yeah, good point. Bet you the writers weren't even thinking about where the food in the grocery stores or anything came from. You just kinda take it for granted if you don't do the actual work."