reality_crossroads | (no subject)

"I can't blame him either. I feel the same when it comes to comparing good classic comedy with some of the modern drek... not that there aren't a few gems in the mud now and then."

"As for the rest, honestly, I've got no idea," Jokester says with a shrug. "He started off normal enough, till he came up with a plot to swipe powers from three of the other people who went by the name. Heh, I guess the writers were just in a mood to try to consolidate that tangle."

"Yeah -- I find myself looking for classic 80s stuff whenever we decide to get new movies or something," Marty confesses. "Feels weird to be nostalgic when I'm in my 20s, but. . ." He shrugs.

"Guess we'll find out then." He wrinkles his brow. "How many Clayfaces were there, anyway? You got Basil -- who I know started out as just a guy in a costume -- Matt, Preston. . .and a gal named Sondra, right?"

"Well, I may have been peeking through some of the files after that surprise ol' Pengy dropped on us, just to stay ahead of the game... and turns out Preston and Sondra managed to have a kid at some point. With each other. Named 'em Cassius... which just shows that me and my immediate family aren't the only ones from Gotham with a sense of humor. I've heard something about a little girl, too, but I'm not sure what's up with that."

"Seriously?" Marty shakes his head. "Yeah, really. . .I'm not sure either." He does a quick mental recount. "So Cassius and mystery girl take the total up to six. That's -- a lot of Clayfaces. You think one of 'em would have chosen a different name. Unless they did and I just never heard about it."

"Well, Sondra went by Lady Clay sometimes, and apparently if you get enough of them together at once they go by 'the Mud Pack', but..." Jokester shrugs. "Sometimes I think the writers were having trouble telling them apart... or just didn't care enough to bother."

Marty snorts. "Okay, gotta admit, I like 'The Mud Pack' for a group of 'em working together. But yeah, I can buy the writers just not giving enough of a shit. Which is weird, because these guys were getting paid to be creative." Kind of frustrating when you think about it. How many of them just went with the obvious choice, or didn't bother doing the research?

"Honestly, it's lazy. Especially when it's not that hard if you give it even half a try. Basil didn't even have powers until he messed himself up using dna samples from the other three... not counting kidlets there, mind you. Matt Hagen and Sondra Fuller were the 'classic' mud-person-that-shapeshifts that I'm betting most think of when 'Clayface' gets mentioned. And poor ol' Preston Payne didn't even really fit the theme... unless you count that his abilities gave him a melty face along with the ability to melt anything and anyone he touched. About as much fun as the Midas Touch and without the cash payoff. He had to be in a suit to keep from becoming a puddle, and had no control over his powers and chronic migrane headaches unless he'd just melted someone to death... seemed to stabilize 'em for a bit. Which makes it even more of a surprise he managed to get Sondra knocked up!"

"Matt was dead by the time Basil decided to 'upgrade' from large ham to mudball monster, so there isn't even any overlap there."

"Super lazy," Marty agrees. "I mean, it's okay if it's a name that's actually being passed down, like a legacy character thing, but that. . .and man, I didn't realize Preston had it that bad. Who's freaking brilliant idea was to give him that power? I guess Sondra being already kinda melty must have made a difference. . ." He shrugs. "More reasons to be glad they're not mucking around in your lives anymore, I guess."

Either that or they started making out right after Preston killed someone. Jokester opens his mouth to suggest that, pauses, and shuts it again. Some things were definitely TMI. "'Can't imagine he'll still have to worry about that. I mean, given ol' Mr. Freeze got defrosted... Nora too, by the way."

Yeah, that would be a bit dark for Marty's tastes as well. Let's not go there. "I would hope not -- and really?" Marty grins. "That's great! They must have been -- well, guessing you haven't seen much of 'em since the defrosting." That playful smirk makes it clear just what he's hinting at. Those sort of makeouts he's okay joking about.

Jack laughs. "Well, they're not exactly social... lot of catching up to do. I think he's still too afraid she'll break, though. There's a betting pool on how long it'll be before she threatens to beat him senseless with a pillow."

Marty snorts. "Oh jeez. . .well, you can't blame the guy. I mean -- it's been ages since he's seen her actually up and moving. I'm sure she'll convince him soon enough."

"I'd be a hypocrite if I did," Jokester says. Especially after his near-breakdown at the carnival just at the thought of Jeannie being out of sight for a while... "He's definitely got plenty of company when it comes to re-adjusting to various people being around. I mean, you can't really claim comics are family-friendly. Especially if you're in them!" A chuckle and he adds, "Harvey and Gilda aren't getting much sleep lately thanks to two sets of twins the writers promptly forgot about after an appearance each... and I somehow missed Ed having kids and now there's a girl almost 'Ella's age and a five year old who can beat me at chess. At this point I wouldn't be that surprised if ol' Croc showed up with some nice lizard-girl and a nest full of eggs!"

"Heh, yeah -- guess the Comics Code people were right after all," Marty jokes back. His mirth fades, however, as Jokester continues. "What -- seriously? Harvey had TWO sets of kids and they just forgot about both?! And Ed's too? Sheesh. . .yeah, I'm starting to wonder myself. Seems like the writers had a thing for giving you guys kids and then deciding 'nah, we're bored with that.'"

"The babies they just forgot, the toddlers were from some alternate time loop... and the little girl got shot before it collapsed. She was from some timeline where I never had my little 'accident' and Martha Wayne ended up taking my place. And Ed... Forgetting would've been better. Ultraman set them on fire. Tad's been dead for roughly a decade and Stephie's still adjusting to not being a literal ghost in the machine." From the look on his face for just a moment, the writers of some of this stuff are very very lucky he can't get to them. Bet they wouldn't find all those years of coming up with more and more twisted things for the Joker to do quite so funny if they found themselves on the receiving end.

Jokester seems to recognize the mood and manage to shake it off, shaking his head. "And they called me a monster. I wasn't the one writing the script!"

Marty's face suggests he's having some similar thoughts about all this. "Okay, alternate time loop is one thing -- I have a hard time keeping all of the different universes they ended up making too. Seriously, there's one where Martha Wayne ended up--" He shakes his head. "Weird. . .but yeah, shooting toddlers and setting kids on fire. . .hooo boy, if Alice found out about that second one. . ." He can only imagine just how pissed off she'd be.

He sighs deeply. "Yeah, tell me about it. I get that death happens in the comics, but -- that's a bit -- much." To put it extremely mildly.

"I kinda wonder if they all just really hate kids. Having a toddler or grade-schooler should not mean life suddenly turning into the last fifteen minutes of a horror movie while you try to keep them alive long enough to hit double digits. It's no wonder almost all the named teens run around in costume. They had to be super-something to make it that long! Well, the ones that actually did, anyway... most of Ivy's got killed off for drama too. Funny thing, I'm pretty sure Gotham had grade schools and middle schools and high schools... Now I'm just wondering why. Must've been a hell of a student shortage." Yes, he knows they were probably filled with unnamed NPCs and anyone unlucky enough to be in a story was probably a statistical outlier in terms of horrible things happening to their kids. His impulse to verbally tear into something he hates means he's trying to put a humorous 'what the hell?' kind of twist on the thing, but it's hard with that kind of subject. Still, he does have a point in that if NPC kids dropped dead at the rate of named ones in comics the world population would be decreasing fast.

"It's going to take everyone a while to get used to a timeline that supposedly doesn't pull things like that. Imagine being able to send your kid to school and being mostly sure you'll get them back in one piece! That shouldn't seem surreal, and yet... there it is. What's up with that?"

"You really gotta wonder," Marty agrees, scowling. "That's really shitty, to make families just to tear 'em apart like that. All 'cause it's good for sales." The more he hears about what it's like on the other side of the pages, the more he wonders just why he liked comics so much. They really are dark and depressing sometimes once you start thinking about them. "And yeah, now everybody's gonna be panicky about letting their kids out of their sight, I bet. I wonder if a lot of people are gonna insist on homeschooling them for a while."

Jack nods. "When you think about it, that's what happened to Brucie, too... they offed his parents just to give him a reason to run around at night dressed up as a bat."

"We're homeschooling right now... but then we don't have separate houses yet, much less a school. All things considered, we're in no big hurry to add one, though having a teacher or two might not be a bad idea. Eventually. We're dividing some of it up, but... hehehe, well, you can probably imagine how that goes."

". . .point," Marty nods, grimacing. "Nobody got off light in your comics."

He grins at that. "Heh, yeah. Bet you Ed Nigma would make a good teacher, though. I probably would have paid more attention in school if my teachers taught in riddles."

"Maybe if he could stick to Advanced Placement classes," Jokester says. "Stupid people tend to... irritate him after a while, though he does seem to be a little better in tolerating that with kids. Funny you should mention that, though, because Tad... that's Ed's little boy... seems to think it's a fun game to try to teach toddlers to read, among other things."

"Eh -- he probably wouldn't have liked most of my freshman class then," Marty admits, rubbing the back of his head with a sad, nostalgic smile. "Some guy in math class seriously didn't seem to know how to multiply, and a girl in English couldn't figure out what an adjective was. Maybe if you kept him to the elementary school kids. . ." He chuckles as Jokester tells him about Tad. "Awww. Maybe he'll be the teacher in the family."

Jokester just shakes his head at that. "I have a feeling the educational system is going to be a whole delvery truck of canned worms... And maybe he will. For now, we're mostly just making sure the kids won't be too far behind whenever we figure out what we're doing with that mess."

There's a bit of a circus music chime then and he pulls out his cellphone-type PINpoint to check an incoming text message. "Huh. There was another passing mention of Ozzy's lovebird after all. Some short-lived non-Bat title three years later had ol' Pengy mention her when he got caught and sent back to jail.... after stealing a necklace for her." Jokester briefly frowns. "Ok, ol' Pengy might be a bit birdbrained, but I never took him for stupid... sounds like they stuck that in an obscure title so they could cover their asses without any regular readers calling them out on the bad characterization!"

"Yeah, I can believe it, what with so many kids from so many different worlds. . ." Marty shrugs. "Seems like the best plan. Keep 'em up on the ABCs and 123s and worry about the rest later."

He huffs as Jokester gives him the update on Penguin's fiancee. "Figures. Could point to it and say 'hey, look, we didn't forget her' while never having to bother with her in anything 'official.' You guys really are well rid of 'em."

"You're not kidding, kiddo. Really, what did they have to hit ol' Pengy over the head with to make him stupid enough to steal jewelry as a present for the girl who'd leave him if he went back to stealing things?"

"Hopefully there won't be too many ruffled feathers over the whole mess..." He figures Jeannie will be able to take care of that. Especially as it looks like a pretty blatant set-up once you could look at it with the fourth wall down.

Edited 2018-05-17 19:32 (UTC)