"Heh, yeah, Kite Man... speaking of surprises, that was one. He was a definite D-lister, but apparently a lot more famous on the other side of the fourth wall as a kid. The name Charles Brown ring any bells? Kind of makes me feel bad for shoving him off a building, but I'm pretty sure he landed in a tree. He usually did." Jokester grins and shrugs. "Hey, for all I know I did at some point... I'm still kind of fuzzy on what my name was before, well, things happened. I know all the aliases were pretty heavy on the punny. Joseph Kerr, Joe K. Stir, Jack Napier... though, funny enough, I stole that last one off one of the Red Hood gang when I caught up to them. ... Huh, maybe that's why Batsy kept thinking I was ex-Mafia."
"The mermaid would be Lori Lemaris. Supes' thing for double-L-initials is just asking for jokes about him and Lex. And I'm pretty sure he and Wonder Woman had kids in at least one timeline. And he had a few kids with Lois in different timelines. I didn't really keep count." And a grin as he continues. "Now, Batsy only had a couple kids with Selina and Talia al Ghul... Helena and Damian, respectively. But his list of girlfriends from doing that whole 'playboy billionare' thing? Oh boy... Other than those two, let me see..." He starts counting off on fingers. "Julie Madison, Vicki Vale, Linda Page, Lorna Shore, Kathy Kane... pretty sure he married her at least once, so they couldn't have been too closely related... she still had the same last name as his mother. Had a fling with Zatanna. Silver St. Cloud. Got engaged to a girl named Rachel Caspian once but broke it off. There was a thing with Nocturna - Natalia Knight - but that was mostly manipulation on her part and a custody fight over Jason Todd. Not sure about Julia Pennyworth."
He realizes he's run out of fingers and gives up counting with a shrug. Oblivious to any strangeness in having memorized Batman's romantic entanglements when he can't remember what his own name was, he continues. Vesper Fairchild ended up dead... just for the record, I didn't do it. Shondra Kinsolving ended up with some kind of psychic regression to childhood. Sasha Bordeaux got turned into a cyborg. Jillian Maxwell turned out to be a con artist that targeted rich men. Jezebel Jet... Talia killed that one, and she might have been a set-up from the start... Pretty sure he and Wonder Woman dated for a while... and, heck, that's not even counting the really obscure ones and one-night-stands. Or the whole Ultraman-Owlman-Superwoman threesome the Crime Syndicate had going on. Batsy gets around."
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branchandroot
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Date: 2017-09-30 05:29 am (UTC)"The mermaid would be Lori Lemaris. Supes' thing for double-L-initials is just asking for jokes about him and Lex. And I'm pretty sure he and Wonder Woman had kids in at least one timeline. And he had a few kids with Lois in different timelines. I didn't really keep count." And a grin as he continues. "Now, Batsy only had a couple kids with Selina and Talia al Ghul... Helena and Damian, respectively. But his list of girlfriends from doing that whole 'playboy billionare' thing? Oh boy... Other than those two, let me see..." He starts counting off on fingers. "Julie Madison, Vicki Vale, Linda Page, Lorna Shore, Kathy Kane... pretty sure he married her at least once, so they couldn't have been too closely related... she still had the same last name as his mother. Had a fling with Zatanna. Silver St. Cloud. Got engaged to a girl named Rachel Caspian once but broke it off. There was a thing with Nocturna - Natalia Knight - but that was mostly manipulation on her part and a custody fight over Jason Todd. Not sure about Julia Pennyworth."
He realizes he's run out of fingers and gives up counting with a shrug. Oblivious to any strangeness in having memorized Batman's romantic entanglements when he can't remember what his own name was, he continues. Vesper Fairchild ended up dead... just for the record, I didn't do it. Shondra Kinsolving ended up with some kind of psychic regression to childhood. Sasha Bordeaux got turned into a cyborg. Jillian Maxwell turned out to be a con artist that targeted rich men. Jezebel Jet... Talia killed that one, and she might have been a set-up from the start... Pretty sure he and Wonder Woman dated for a while... and, heck, that's not even counting the really obscure ones and one-night-stands. Or the whole Ultraman-Owlman-Superwoman threesome the Crime Syndicate had going on. Batsy gets around."