WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[deadgirlslikeme]

A door opens, and suddenly the sound of a baby wailing echoes across the nearby chunk of the Nexus. A bleary-eyed Victor Van Dort steps through, bouncing said wailing baby in his arms. "It's okay, it's okay. . .look, we're -- um." He blinks a few times as he registers where he is. "This isn't. . .oh, dear, how did I manage to choose the wrong door?" He goes to step back through --

Then stops, shakes his head, and proceeds to the nearest safe-looking bit of furniture, still cradling his son. "No. Perhaps someone can help here. At least, Alice and the others will get some decent sleep for a change. . ." He looks up, an exhausted man at the end of his rope. "Is there anyone around who's had at least one child and might know why they sometimes just start crying in the middle of the night and won't stop no matter what you do?"

Comments

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Alice gives him a look] You're the one who asked us about drawing, I should like to point out. But I'll give you that we should probably focus on the thing we were looking for first. If only because you'll need somewhere to sit while making that map.

[Victor, smiling in a slightly uncomfortable way] Which means we're introducing you to the moving stairs next. You can judge them all you like once you see them.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Yes, so we did. Ssso we did.

Which way?

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Alice takes a moment to orient herself, then waves them on] This way -- unless I'm wrong.

[She's right, though, and they come across the escalator in the middle of the store. It's -- well, an escalator, moving smoothly upward while its counterpart on the other side works in reverse. Victor indicates them with a hand] I mean, you can still walk up them if you like. . .

[lastest_ringbearer]

*Smeagol proceeds to climb up the down staircase, just to be contrary. He's more than a fast enough climber to do so easily, and seems to have decided to show off just a bit.*

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Victor and Alice watch as he scrambles to the top, then look at each other. Alice cracks a smile] Race you?

[Victor, grinning] You're on!

[Cue them running up the down staircase -- they're not as fast as Smeagol, but they manage to make decent time. Victor wins thanks to a longer stride -- though his victory is a bit tainted by the fact that he manages to trip and fall just as he reaches the top] Oof!

[lastest_ringbearer]

Careful, my love, careful! Don't want you to fall, no we do not.

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Victor, face-down at the top of the escalator] Too late.

[Alice, hurrying to his side] You all right?

[Victor, getting up with a slight wince] Yes -- just the usual clumsiness. I certainly haven't broken anything, anyway.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Poor silly Man. At least there are no broken boneses, we couldn't be having with that.

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Victor rubs his nose] Yes, I've been extraordinarily lucky in that regard. I've walked into countless doorframes, walls, furniture -- even ran into the same tree twice in a span of a minute -- but somehow, the worst I ever get are bruises.

[Alice pats his back] Checks and balances -- you're clumsy, so you get to be semi-indestructible too.

[lastest_ringbearer]

The same one twice? Are you sure it was not an Ent, precious?

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Victor blinks] I'm -- not sure what one of those are?

[Alice] Must be something that looks like a tree. . .doubtful that it was in your homeworld's forest, though.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Ents, the shepherdses of trees. We saw one once, deep in the forest, going about its . . . its inscrutable business, yes, and muttering to itself like the creaking of branches in the wind. 'Creak, crack, hmmm, hoom.' It never noticed little old me, I was just another small and hasty animal to it. Smeagol thinks it might have been examining a broken branch, praps? Took a long time to do it, but then treeses have the time if any things do.

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Victor listens with interest] How curious. . .my tree wasn't moving or creaking like that, so I'm pretty sure it was just an ordinary tree I ran into, but I wouldn't mind seeing an Ent at some point. Even if it didn't notice me.

[Alice nods] They sound like fascinating creatures. We must be exceedingly strange to them too -- moving so fast and gone so soon.

[lastest_ringbearer]

As long as you have no axes, my love--woodcutters who enter their woods don't return--and even then there are feral treeses to be wary of. The woods of the Ents are magic onesss, fall asleep in the wrong spot and you may wake trapped by rootses.

Nice Frodo and mean Sssam spoke of being caught by a willow once. Old Man Willow did not sound nice at all!

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Victor looks down at himself] I don't think anyone would ever trust me with an axe. . .I go into woods to look at interesting animals and plants and draw them. Which, uh, probably makes me ideal prey for a feral tree, admittedly. . .

[Alice chuckles] I wouldn't fare much better, given I'm a bit of a daydreamer -- and pulling out my Vorpal Blade would just make things worse, I think. And I'm not surprised -- willows have pretty whippy branches, and I bet they hurt if they hit you. Though they may have been talking about a person too -- people can have the names of trees.

[lastest_ringbearer]

Pretty sure Old Man Willow was indeed a willow, by what the hobbitses said. *He smiles.* Nice Smeagol would do his best to protect nice humans from the treeses, yes.

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Alice nods] I defer to your greater experience -- I didn't hear the story from them, after all. And that's much appreciated, though hopefully we won't have to take you up on that.

[Victor, looking around] Mmmm. . .oh! [points out a sign] I think chairs are this way!

[lastest_ringbearer]

Ssso we hopes, yes. Yesss . . .

Sees them we does!

[save_us_alice]

[Alice, walking down to the furniture section] They've got a lot more than chairs, too. . .

[indeed, there's some displays set up -- a living room set with a chair, couch, and coffee table; a bedroom with a double bed and two nightstands; a dining room with a round table surrounded by four chairs. Basically, Smeagol has his pick of things to sit on over here]

[lastest_ringbearer]

*A bed! There's a bed!

*You may have to pry him off the damn thing.*

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Victor watches Smeagol immediately get on the bed] Better than a chair, then?

[Alice pokes him gently] Wouldn't you think so? I know a lot about sleeping on uncomfortable surfaces, but not nearly as much as him, I'm sure.

[lastest_ringbearer]

*Smeagol just smiles a bit and curls up tighter.*

[save_us_alice]

[Alice smiles back] Definitely want to keep that one, then. [she tries one of the chairs, since Smeagol's otherwise occupied] It is nice furniture.

[Victor sits down too] Very nice -- maybe we should see about upgrading our own house.

[lastest_ringbearer]

*Eventually Smeagol will get around to picking a chair. It's short, but he's thin enough that it dwarfs him anyway. Not that that takes much.*

[deadgirlslikeme]

[Alice watches as Smeagol finds a chair that suits] You like that one, then?

[Victor nods approvingly] Looks like a good choice to me.